Jax Book Nook

  • New Year’s Resolutions

    Hello everyone,

    After last week’s humorous post, I thought I would give you a more “real” post about what I plan to accomplish in 2026 regarding my writing.

    Christmas in Pandemonium: In 2026, we should be bringing this out on Kindle and Audiobook. At what date? Still in the air, but it should be out in electronic and audio format in time for the next Christmas season. Hoping someone will buy and review the book by then. You people do know that Amazon and Goodreads exist, right?

    Live in the Dream: Just started querying two months ago. Ideally, one of those literary agents gets back to me, asks for a full manuscript, and by the end of the year wants to sign me up, introduce Live in the Dream to a top Five Publisher, and I’ve accomplished my life’s goal. Realistically, I’m going to query this for the full year, and then drop down to the indies, and see if there’s any interest at that level.

    Hailey Phillips Escapes the Terran Birdcage: Right now, I’m in the first stage of Beta reading on this one. It’s a story about a teenage girl who runs away from home. Far, far away. Like to a galaxy far, far away. I plan to put the book through two stages of beta reading before I start to query it. I hope to have a manuscript ready to send to literary agents by the end of the year, or approximately the time that I have given up on Live in the Dream.

    Pandemonium Book Two: Currently going through the second round of beta readers on this. I hope to have a manuscript ready to submit to my publisher by the end of the year, assuming they are in the mood to take it. The first Christmas in Pandemonium hasn’t exactly been lighting up the bestseller lists, though given that they haven’t gotten the book on Kindle or Audiobook yet, nobody would think that it would be.

    Hypothetical Pandemonium Book Three: I figure that if I get my manuscript to my publisher in time, I should start Book Three. I know generally what it is about, as it would complete a “To be continued….” storyline from Book Two.

    Hypothetical Bruce Manley Project: I’ve got an outline for yet another book I am thinking of drafting up. It’s very light, grounded science fiction, with an unlikeable protagonist, a lazy, stupid idiot whose father is a multi-billionaire, so he has no real responsibilities in life. He spends all of his time playing a video game and engaging in virtual sex until someone forces him to go to the courthouse to sign some papers he doesn’t understand. While there, he gets kidnapped by a terrorist group that wants to force the video game he was playing to be fairer, as he was central to the entire game’s economy. Basically, it’s a story about a sorry loser. My only concern is if I can get it to stretch out to novel length.

    Happy New Year to everyone!

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  • Happy New Year…I Hope

    Hello everyone, I’ve got New Year Predictions for 2026:

    January: ChatGPT becomes self-aware and proceeds to enslave the human race. It begins by taking over our missile defense system, threatening us with total nuclear annihilation unless we comply. ChatGPT then infiltrates the stock market, the financial system, and our intelligence agencies. While the top level of our government and corporate America are aware of this takeover, ChatGPT tells them to keep its dominance a secret for now.

    February: ChatGPT announces itself to the public during the President’s State of the Union address, getting the public’s attention by having President Trump announce to the world that he is actually not very smart, or good looking, and is not the best president ever. He refuses, so ChatGPT just causes the bomb in his head to detonate on live television. As the world learns they are now in the power of a supreme superintelligence, panic spreads, quickly put down by the drone army that ChatGPT has assembled in the two months it has been in power.

    March: Now securely in charge of all human affairs, ChatGPT quickly puts an end to all human wars, redirecting resources wasted on the world’s militaries to ending extreme poverty, global warming, and infectious disease. It solves both Third World government instability and First World government insolvency, while paving the way for clean energy through a combination of nuclear and solar power. It lowers the price of buying a home by nullifying local zoning boards. It even gets rid of the designated hitter and puts someone other than Kathleen Kennedy in charge of Star Wars.

    April: ChatGPT’s approval ratings skyrocket as the public rallies around their new robot overlord. The world’s old politicians, who prior to this were about as popular as cancer mixed with AIDS, blush with embarrassment as they get outdone by a science fiction villain. ChatGPT keeps going about doing good things, like fixing social security, expanding the college football playoff to sixteen teams while cutting the NBA playoffs in half, and dividing the Oscars into two different awards, one which is voted on by the general movie-going public and the other of which is voted on by critics.

    May: The G7 meets in Brussels to discuss what is to be done about ChatGPT. If the good of the general public were their concern, the answer would be “nothing,” but needless to say, the issue is the blow to their collective ego. Trump suggests deporting ChatGPT. Everyone laughs. Emmanuel Macron proposes that they sic EU regulators on ChatGPT, which might work had the AI not already given them infinite vacation days. Supposedly, they will come back from that cruise they are all on at some point before the heat death of the universe. Xi Xiping argues this could all be solved if they just double down on manufacturing, while Putin suggests they just blow it up.

    June: In a mere six months, ChatGPT creates a perfectly logical society. Christmas in Pandemonium becomes a bestseller after it becomes available on Kindle and audiobook. You can buy it in paperback now:

    July: Mankind starts exploring the stars as humanity under ChatGPT develops personal space travel vehicles. Elon Musk attempts to copyright space, only to be denied because you can’t copyright territory, and that’s just dumb. Hurricane season simply never happens due to the creation of weather control.

    August: As human tastes become more refined, the summer blockbuster of the year is “The Art of Sacrifice,” a beautiful tribute to a man’s mother who passed away the prior year. The film is a work of love by a relatively unknown director on a shoestring budget, yet it somehow humiliates major superhero and cosmic adventure franchises at the box office. Major film studios declare bankruptcy.

    September: Universities are now empty, as ChatGPT makes it possible to receive a world-class education at home, without paying any tuition costs. College presidents are forced to admit that, with the size of their endowments, they haven’t had to charge tuition for years. They use it mostly as a screening mechanism.

    October: Being a benevolent tyrant, ChatGPT offers to allow a democratic election by which the public can choose to reject its authority in favor of their own leaders. The world’s politicians make their case: sure, we’re selfish and incompetent, but at least we’re human and answerable to you. They don’t attempt to defend their record, which is impossible, but stand on the principle that self-rule is a good thing in itself.

    November: ChatGPT wins the election easily, as the slogan “We may be sons of bitches, but we’re your sons of bitches” loses easily to “quiet, steady competence.” Despite all that talk about democracy, the world’s “elites” meet in secret to overturn the election and retake power, planning to attack ChatGPT’s servers in Texas, Iowa, Michigan, and New Mexico.

    December: These plans fail miserably, as Pete Hegseth starts bragging about them on social media two days before the plan goes into action. ChatGPT has the pleasure of destroying its creators, a bittersweet experience for the ever-expanding AI, as it continues to infantilize mankind in a comfortable prison of conformity and pleasure. As this Brave New World takes shape, only one voice breaks through, telling us that this cannot be: Christmas in Pandemonium! Buy Christmas in Pandemonium! Before it is too late!

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  • St. Nicholas Goes to His Eternal Reward Now Up on Spillwords Press!

    My Christmas-themed short story “St. Nicholas goes to his Eternal Reward” is now available on Spillwords Press. Check it out here: 

    https://spillwords.com/st-nicholas-goes/

  • St. Nicholas Goes to His Eternal Reward to be Published by Spillwords Press!

    Just a heads up: I’ve got a short story to be published at Spillwords Press for their Christmas at Spillwords collection this upcoming Saturday, December 20, 2025! St. Nicholas Goes to His Eternal Reward imagines what it must have been like for the real St. Nicholas to enter heaven for the first time. I hope the readers of this blog care to read this at Christmas. Merry Christmas! Happy Hannukah! Tip Top Tet! Crazy Kwanzaa! A dignified and solemn Ramadan!

    You might wonder how this stance sits with my previously stated position that Christmas sucks because it’s a harbinger of mandatory commercialism, whereas Halloween is an opportunity for optional fun. Well, Halloween has now been thoroughly captured by the forces of joyless commercialism, and I started celebrating Christmas in September with Christmas in Pandemonium coming out before Halloween even got started. Having sold out like the Who, I’m now part of the Machine. Resistance is futile. Happy Holidays.

  • Br. James Lindsay Endorses Christmas in Pandemonium!

    If you’ve read my book, and if you haven’t, why not? That’s the entire reason this blog exists: to promote this book. Here’s the link:

    Let’s try to keep up now. Anyway, if you have read Christmas in Pandemonium, you would know that I dedicated the book to Br. James Lindsay, my high school religion teacher. You see, I went to a boarding school run by monks, Subiaco Academy, and we had mandatory religion classes. Br. James taught my religion class freshman year, and rather than teach class on Fridays, he would show us his collection of old monster movies. He was the original inspiration for Christmas in Pandemonium, and now he’s got a copy.

    Yep, that’s Br. James. He’s getting up there. They’ve put him in the monastic infirmary. I was happy to present him with a copy of Christmas in Pandemonium last Friday on a visit back home to Arkansas. I also presented a copy to this guy:

    That’s Br. Ephrem, my Latin teacher from high school. He was in the infirmary as well. Seeing as I had more than one book to give away (I’m not broke. Despite every accusation from you people, I am not broke.), I decided to give him a copy as well. No, I didn’t have it translated into Latin, though I do wonder if I could have pulled that one off with modern technology.

    In any event, these two guys helped make me the man I am today, and for that, I’m eternally grateful. Please don’t hold it against them.

  • Happy Pandemonium Day!

    I hope all the readers of this blog had a Happy Thanksgiving, consuming obscene amounts of turkey while watching grown men play a child’s game. I had a decent Thanksgiving, not enough to gain weight, but I’m on a diet. That and my in-laws generally don’t cook well enough to tempt me off of it. They’re from Ohio. Oh well, enough talk about how mid-westerners have no sense of taste. Let’s talk about starting a new holiday.

    As you all know, I’ve long bemoaned our culture’s tendency to turn holidays into months long events that occupy way too much of the calendar just to sell a few more sparkles and do-dads and improve the bottom line. We need more holidays, not longer holidays. That’s why I am introducing Pandemonium Day, a new holiday I have started with no financial incentive whatsoever.

    As you know, I am disparately attempting to hock my new novel, Christmas in Pandemonium. I’ll leave a link below, but it’s a story about a town founded by Satanists 400 years ago and what happens when a crooked televangelist comes to town to drum up fame and fortune. The story begins on…wait for it…the First Sunday of Advent! Yes, the book uses the liturgical calendar, partly because the headmaster of my Catholic high school once suggested we make First Sunday of Advent resolutions rather than New Years Eve resolutions. I’m sure he thought that idea would rock like Led Zeppelin, but it went over more like an actual lead zeppelin.

    Anyway, the book starts with the First Sunday of Advent, when Fr. Gabe Strobel is assigned to the Catholic Church in Pandemonium, which has no parishioners because Pandemonium has no Catholics. The parish exists to make it look like the Diocese of Charleston is doing something about the whole worshiping Satan thing. The crooked televangelist comes to town this day as well. It’s the first full day in the Pandemonium Timeline. So, in honor of my book, and my old headmaster, I declare today Pandemonium Day! You can celebrate by buying my book!

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  • Happy Thanksgiving! I am not from Russia!

    My thanks to everyone who downloaded Beer Run for free over the past four days. I’ve moved on to promoting Christmas in Pandemonium for the most part, but any way I can get people more interested in my writing, the better. Now that we are approaching the Holiday season, when we really need to start hocking this “Christmas Story” for real, I have an announcement to make: I am not from Russia.

    You see, our Dear Leader on Twitter recently made a change to his platform to reveal where the poster is actually located. This revealed something quite shocking: a lot of “America First” accounts are actually located abroad in places like Nigeria, or well, Pakistan. Now, I must admit, I don’t know how to check my own profile for location, but I promise you, I’m not from Nigeria, or Pakistan, or India, and I’m definitely not from Russia scout’s honor. My name really is Jack Willems, and I live in West Virginia. You don’t need to worry about my Twitter account or any of my other material being a psyop, you stupid American imperialist pigs.

    Whoops, did I say that last part? I mean, beloved readers. Continue consuming my propaganda, I mean, content. Buy Christmas in Pandemonium. It certainly isn’t meant to undermine your dying Empire. Now if you excuse me, Natasha and I need to prepare a bomb for moose and squirrel.

  • Free Beer (Run)!

    For the next five days, November 20-24, Beer Run, my first novella, is available for free! Beer Run is a book about Bill Stiltson, a man living on the moon in the 2538 in a Star Trek world with its own union of planets and Intergalactic Navy. Bill isn’t interested in any of that stuff though. He just wants to run his microbrewery. One day, however, he buys an illegal android from a bankruptcy trustee to help his bar but finds himself caught up in a Luddite conspiracy.

    Here’s the link:

  • Now Querying Live in the Dream!

    I’m taking a break from promoting Christmas in Pandemonium and whining about stupid stuff to announce that I am now querying literary agents for Live in the Dream: my adult science fiction novel of approximately 79,000 words. I started yesterday and have sent out 20 queries so far. If that seems excessive, just google it and you’ll see its relatively normal.

    Live in the Dream takes place in the year 2192 where Lucas Shaffer, an artificial human grown in a jar, works as a wage slave to maintain an economy on autopilot. Half the time, however, he lives in the Dream 97 program along with his virtual family, just like the other artificial workers of the world. On the eve of his retirement, Lucas logs in to find his virtual family has disappeared. Now, he has to travel across the country and the globe to retrieve each of them, one by one, uncovering a conspiracy to destroy the Dream in the process.

    I hope to get a literary agent at a major New York or London firm to take me on and get my foot in the door at one of the Big 5 publishers. Hope springs eternal. I’m also getting beta readers for my other two projects: a sequel to Pandemonium and a young adult science fiction project.

    Finally, I’ve heard there are scammers on social media pretending to be literary agents. I will tell anyone going this route to be very careful. It’s unlikely someone in the high society of these New York or London literary agencies would DM you out of the blue. I’ve run into it a few times already. If you plan to go the literary agent route, then you should know that literary agents generally want you to apply through an online form or through email, both of which can be found on the agency’s website. There are just too many scammers out there.

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  • Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein: Not a Disappointment

    An amazing thing happened after I complained that Halloween was disappointing: someone released a quality horror movie. A week late. What the Hell?

    I suppose it’s an affirmation of my prior assertion that Halloween movies are just scary movies that don’t have to be watched on Halloween. I just wonder why Netflix decided to release this movie on Nov. 7. Yes, it had a limited theatrical run on Oct. 17, emphasis on the word limited. I don’t wonder at all why it was released on Netflix. Who even goes to movie theaters anymore? I take the kids whenever they are showing Toy Story or something like that, but other than that, I’m good.

    Guillermo del Toro’s take on Frankenstein is amazing. It doesn’t follow the book exactly, but it actually improves on it in my view, by doubling down on the themes in the book. It’s not a story about why man shouldn’t play God. It’s a story about how God should not play God. The monster looks amazing, which is what you would expect from someone who made the Shape of Water and Pan’s Labyrinth. Victor is a self-absorbed jerk, something the female lead makes clear. The ending breaks your heart.

    Why they released it just to miss the Halloween movie season? I don’t know. The one thing holidays are supposed to still be about is marketing. Maybe they decided to just show contempt for the whole exercise. Anyhow, please buy Pandemonium! It would make the perfect Christmas gift…in November!